Viewing: Mission: Gympossible > placing dumbbells
19 September 2014
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by Flex Luthor
At the gym, just like pretty much any other place shared by a group of people, there are some unwritten rules one, at the very least, should follow. You don’t just go up to a person and sneeze in his/her face. You wouldn’t get arrested, but not sneezing in someone’s face is just one of those unwritten rules.
The gym is no different. Now, you may be lost in your own bubble when you work out, as lifting is a great way to get away from it all and just be in your own head. However, no matter how deep you are in the zone, there is no excuse to ignore the gym etiquette separating us from wild (out of shape) animals.
So next time you hit the house of gains, please remember the following guidelines to not being a total douche nozzle.
1- Use a f***ing towel
People who just sit directly on a bench, do their sets, and leave behind a big wet spot à la Eriq Lasalle in “Coming to America” need to realize how disgusting a habit that really is. How can you think this is acceptable behavior? Am I supposed to wipe it with my towel before I use the bench? Screw you! Use your own damn towel to wipe off your own fluids, and I’ll do the same. Better yet, just lay down your towel on the bench before you start.
2- Checking yourself out
Let’s be clear: I am not saying it’s wrong to check yourself out in the many mirrors at the gym. After all, there are so many and you are making so much progress. Under those fluorescent lights, you are a work of art! But here’s the thing: checking yourself out should be like checking out someone else in public. There is nothing wrong with doing it, but you should be discreet. It’s about having class and not looking like a complete tool.
3- Putting the dumbbells back
If you are one to take a pair of 30’s, do your sets, then put one away in a spot that says 20, and the other where it says 45, then you, my friend, deserve a spotter with the worst case of ADD ever. Messing up the dumbbell rack is not only inconsiderate, but it can also disrupt the flow of others’ workouts. The more time I spend looking for missing dumbbells, the bigger the loss of muscular wood.
4- Mirror invasion
You know, when you use free weights for an exercise, you can do it pretty much anywhere. You don’t need to plant yourself right in front of someone who is tied to a piece of equipment. Mirrors are great for monitoring your form while assessing/admiring yourself, but you are not the only one who can benefit from reflective surfaces.
5- Just chillin'
So you're one popular cat and you keep getting texts and/or calls on your phone? Your social skills are such that they will not allow you any delay in replying to them? Good for you, kiddo! Now kindly get the f*** off the machine/bench and make way for those who are not there to just take up space.
Ah, glad I got that off my chest! I really don't think the above five points translate into any unreasonable demands. I am sure I'm forgetting other instances of defecation on gym etiquette, but the ones listed here are those that have really stuck in my mind due to their prevalence.
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PS: Please note that blogs and articles on this site are *never* meant to serve as expert advice. We are just gym enthusiasts sharing our thoughts, opinions, and whatever knowledge we have. So please be smart: if you are going to make any kind of lifestyle change, do so based on your own research and upon consultation with actual health professionals.